Bonus Episode: Q****
It’s a slow day at The Vesta Clinic.
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Transcript:
[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme Tune]
[MUSIC: Background music as though from a radio]
FAYE
You mind, uh, refreshing my inbox again? . . . Just in case?
[SEC: affirmative ping, typing on screen]
No? Nothing new in the last thirty seconds since you last checked?
[SEC: negative ping]
That’s . . . remarkable. [Thinking] What about comms messages?
[SEC: questioning ping, typing on screen]
I know I get an alert every time I get one I just . . . just wondering.
I might, um . . .
[SOUND: chair, footsteps]
Just check . . .
[SOUND: door opens, door closes]
[Sigh] It’s dead out there. Dunno where Calyxy’s got to.
[SOUND: footsteps, chair]
[SEC: typing on screen]
Oh, really! She never invites me to listen to it with her.
[SEC: typing on screen]
Well, exactly! Usually I am busy!
[SOUND: zipper]
Is this thing broken?
[SOUND: fiddling with the bleep]
BLEEP
Power on. Battery 96%. You have had [pause] ZERO [pause] calls in the last hour.
[SOUND: puts bleep down]
FAYE
Have I definitely done all the letters I was meant to do?
[SEC: affirmative ping]
We can’t have another situation like that one with Usgaznenzeth, Xael’ll paint the Waiting Room walls with my entrails.
[SEC: typing on screen]
Yeah. You’re right. It would liven things up.
[SEC: affirmative ping]
I bet my entrails are a lovely shade, too.
All this time I’ve been fighting for a free minute to call - ‘home’ - and now I finally have one and she’s -
[SOUND: door opens]
Enter DAKARAI
DAKARAI
Hello my fellow denizens of this sleepy satellite. I have important news.
[SOUND: footsteps, door closes]
FAYE
I like your dress, Rai.
DAKARAI
Thank you!
FAYE
What’s the news?
DAKARAI
[Deadly serious] I’m bored.
[SOUND: chair]
FAYE
Oh, that sounds like a me problem.
DAKARAI
I’m so glad you agree.
FAYE
When did the symptoms first start?
DAKARAI
It all began when I put my petri dishes in the incubator - they have another four hours to go. Four hours.
In a desperate attempt to stay busy, I turned my dwindling attention to the Facility Controls - there’s a flickering light, it’s very annoying - and I accidentally started a decontamination sequence in the main lab area so it’s a ‘no go’ for a while.
Entertain me, Dr Underwood, or I shall simply perish.
[SEC: typing on screen]
FAYE
Sec, it disturbs me how much you enjoy watching the fighting show.
[SEC: questioning ping, typing on screen]
[Tuts] Hey!
DAKARAI
[Laugh] Oof. To be fair, Faye, I’m also disturbed by how long it takes you to do one letter.
FAYE
You can’t rush perfection, Dr Solari. Anyway, he distracts me.
[SEC: negative ping, typing on screen, questioning ping]
DAKARAI
Yeah, go on. Before Xael finds us something to do.
[SEC: affirmative ping, open]
[MUSIC: GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE theme music]
GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE ANNOUNCER
Tonight! Going up against our Gladiators!
ERISHNO a THEMITE from TRITON
RAITHMIKKAL a GULUBIAN from HIPPOCAMP
DOK a THEMITE from TRITON
QINQIRQIKURAK a QIQUK from 3000 LEONARDO
AND
BEV a HUMAN from EARTH
[SOUND: GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE theme music intensifies]
FAYE
[Musing] I just can’t believe how quiet it is today.
[SOUND: GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE stops]
[Gasp]
[SEC: questioning ping]
DAKARAI
[Horrified] Why would you say that?
[SOUND: Background noise from the stream as the Gladiators: Neptune introducer starts the show]
FAYE
I’m so sorry! It just slipped out!
[SOUND: a cacophony of alerts and beeps, loud noises from outside, bleep goes off, Rai’s lab subjects are kicking off]
Oh, stars.
DAKARAI
Saturn’s icy rings.
FAYE
Oh, no. Sec, can you?
[SOUND: comms call, accepted]
[SOUND: even MORE beeping from Xaelest’s room]
XAELEST
WHO SAID THE Q WORD?
[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme Tune]
CREDITS
This Bonus Episode was called ‘Q****’.
It was created by AMC and starred AMC as Faye Underwood and the bleep, Kamen Cooley Greene as Dakarai Solari, Ruby Campbell as Xaelest Adra and Sec as himself <3.
Music by AMC and Ruby Campbell.
Thank you very much for listening. Don’t forget, you can find us in most places at @vestaclinicpod. If you want to support the show in our season break, please consider leaving us a rating and review on the podcast app or website you’ve sold your soul to. Doing so might help other listeners find a show they’ll love, but, most importantly, it gives us the warmest fuzzies and what could be better than that??
