Bonus Episode: Q****

It’s a slow day at The Vesta Clinic.
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Transcript:

[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme Tune] 

[MUSIC: Background music as though from a radio]

FAYE

You mind, uh, refreshing my inbox again? . . . Just in case? 

[SEC: affirmative ping, typing on screen]

No? Nothing new in the last thirty seconds since you last checked?

[SEC: negative ping]

That’s . . . remarkable. [Thinking] What about comms messages? 

[SEC: questioning ping, typing on screen]

I know I get an alert every time I get one I just . . . just wondering

I might, um . . .

[SOUND: chair, footsteps]

Just check . . . 

[SOUND:  door opens, door closes] 

[Sigh] It’s dead out there. Dunno where Calyxy’s got to. 

[SOUND: footsteps, chair]

[SEC: typing on screen]

Oh, really! She never invites me to listen to it with her. 

[SEC: typing on screen]

Well, exactly! Usually I am busy! 

[SOUND: zipper]

Is this thing broken?

[SOUND: fiddling with the bleep]

BLEEP

Power on. Battery 96%. You have had [pause] ZERO [pause] calls in the last hour. 

[SOUND: puts bleep down]

FAYE 

Have I definitely done all the letters I was meant to do? 

[SEC: affirmative ping]

We can’t have another situation like that one with Usgaznenzeth, Xael’ll paint the Waiting Room walls with my entrails. 

[SEC: typing on screen]

Yeah. You’re right. It would liven things up.

[SEC: affirmative ping]

I bet my entrails are a lovely shade, too. 

All this time I’ve been fighting for a free minute to call - ‘home’ - and now I finally have one and she’s -

[SOUND: door opens]

Enter DAKARAI 

DAKARAI

Hello my fellow denizens of this sleepy satellite. I have important news. 

[SOUND: footsteps, door closes]

FAYE

I like your dress, Rai.

DAKARAI 

Thank you! 

FAYE

What’s the news?

DAKARAI 

[Deadly serious] I’m bored

[SOUND: chair]

FAYE

Oh, that sounds like a me problem. 

DAKARAI 

I’m so glad you agree. 

FAYE

When did the symptoms first start? 

DAKARAI 

It all began when I put my petri dishes in the incubator - they have another four hours to go. Four hours.

In a desperate attempt to stay busy, I turned my dwindling attention to the Facility Controls - there’s a flickering light, it’s very annoying - and I accidentally started a decontamination sequence in the main lab area so it’s a ‘no go’ for a while. 

Entertain me, Dr Underwood, or I shall simply perish. 

[SEC: typing on screen]

FAYE

Sec, it disturbs me how much you enjoy watching the fighting show. 

[SEC: questioning ping,  typing on screen]

[Tuts] Hey!

DAKARAI 

[Laugh] Oof. To be fair, Faye, I’m also disturbed by how long it takes you to do one letter. 

FAYE

You can’t rush perfection, Dr Solari. Anyway, he distracts me. 

[SEC: negative ping, typing on screen, questioning ping]

DAKARAI 

Yeah, go on. Before Xael finds us something to do. 

[SEC: affirmative ping, open]

[MUSIC: GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE theme music]

GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE ANNOUNCER

Tonight! Going up against our Gladiators!
ERISHNO a THEMITE from TRITON
RAITHMIKKAL a GULUBIAN from HIPPOCAMP 

DOK a THEMITE from TRITON 

QINQIRQIKURAK a QIQUK from 3000 LEONARDO 

AND 

BEV a HUMAN from EARTH 

[SOUND: GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE theme music intensifies]

FAYE

[Musing] I just can’t believe how quiet it is today. 

[SOUND: GLADIATORS: NEPTUNE stops]

[Gasp] 

[SEC: questioning ping]

DAKARAI

[Horrified] Why would you say that? 

[SOUND: Background noise from the stream as the Gladiators: Neptune introducer starts the show]

FAYE

I’m so sorry! It just slipped out!

[SOUND: a cacophony of alerts and beeps, loud noises from outside, bleep goes off, Rai’s lab subjects are kicking off]

Oh, stars.


DAKARAI 

Saturn’s icy rings.

FAYE

Oh, no. Sec, can you?

[SOUND: comms call, accepted]

[SOUND: even MORE beeping from Xaelest’s room]

XAELEST

WHO SAID THE Q WORD? 

[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme Tune]

CREDITS

This Bonus Episode was called ‘Q****’.

It was created by AMC and starred AMC as Faye Underwood and the bleep, Kamen Cooley Greene as Dakarai Solari, Ruby Campbell as Xaelest Adra and Sec as himself <3. 

Music by AMC and Ruby Campbell. 

Thank you very much for listening. Don’t forget, you can find us in most places at @vestaclinicpod. If you want to support the show in our season break, please consider leaving us a rating and review on the podcast app or website you’ve sold your soul to. Doing so might help other listeners find a show they’ll love, but, most importantly, it gives us the warmest fuzzies and what could be better than that??


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