Episode 2 - Hivemind

Date: 557/1/2732

Patient: Flea. Anthophiloid

Patient ID: 01475632

Presenting complaint: Developmental concerns

The patient isn’t the only one with growing pains.

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To avoid spoilers, content warnings are available at the bottom of this page! _____________________________________________

Transcript:

[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme]  

[SOUND: buzzing, door closing, footsteps, chair]

FAYE:

I'm not supposed to have favourites but he was so cute, oh my stars.

[SEC: typing on screen]

Huh? Yeah, I know, it’s patronising but, come on, after the other patients we've had today? Adorable. For the record, I’m not including Mr ZyQ in that list, he was actually sick and couldn’t really help where he aimed his pus.

[SEC: typing on screen]

You can talk about the human predilection for small, fluffy things with big eyes as much as you like, Sec. I'm not hearing any actual disagreement.

[Silence from Sec]

[Laughs] Exactly.

Oh, I heard my inbox ping during the consultation, can you bring that up, please?

[SEC: affirmative ping, file open]

I just want to check -

Stars, where do these companies even get my comms ID? . . . Delete.

[SEC: delete]

You know, ever since last week I've been convinced that every email is going to be an invitation to some kind of  disciplinary hearing with the Ceresaurian Conglomerate. Bu-ut, apparently not yet.

Okay. Shall we do this last letter and then I'll get out of your wires, Sec?

[SEC: affirmative ping, typing on screen]

 [Laugh] I think you miss me when I’m not here. 

[SEC: negative ping]

Right. Ready? 

[SEC: affirmative ping]

Date: 557/1/2732

Patient: 'Flea', Anthof - I’ve always struggled with this one. It’s actually really embarrassing. Um, I don't know - if - maybe if I just say it fast? Anth - [Laughs].  Antho-phil-oid. Antho-phil-oid. Anthophiloi -  Anthophiloid. That’s it. 

[SEC: typing on screen]

Well, great. I'm glad you know what I'm saying. No, don't be a smart-arse, you know it only needs to go in the letter once.

[SEC: typing on screen]

Patient: Flea, Anthophiloid.

[SOUND: mouse clicks]

Patient ID: 01475632

This polite young anthophiloid who, due to his current inaccess to the hive name, requested that I call him 'Flea', was a delight to see in clinic today. Flea presented with concerns about his development as he has yet to have his growth spurt or be able to access his hive's shared consciousness.

[MUSIC: begins]

[SEC: typing on screen]

 What do you mean? Surely you can just put him in the system as his ID number or something?

[SEC: negative ping, typing on screen]

No, but he doesn't have a name yet. His colony will all have the same name but they don't get to find it out until they join the hivemind. 

[SEC: typing on screen]

Well, no. From what I understand they - they don't communicate like that, they all have a unique sort of pheromonal biomarker which becomes their name. But, again, they don't secrete it until they hit maturity so . . . 

[SEC: negative ping, typing on screen]

It's not gross! I can't smell it either and I still think it's nice!

[SEC: negative ping]

 Anyway.

Flea is aged 4.2 vesta years, the equivalent of 15 Earth years. Two of Flea's senior hive-mates brought him to clinic today, and I noted that there was a signed file on the system with today's date which permitted me to see Flea without the presence of a guardian. Uh, Sec, please could you attach that to the - ? Yeah? 

[SEC: file attached]

 Did you see his little face when he thought I was going to tell him I couldn't see him?

[SEC: negative ping]

Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting. It was so cute. He had this downy amber fluff on his thorax and it just puffed right up.

I completely get it though, if another senior colony member were present, presumably connected to the hivemind, the entire colony would know within seconds. I can't imagine that complete lack of privacy. 

Although, sometimes I think I’d love to know what’s going on in Dr Adra’s head when she’s talking to me. 

[SEC: questioning ping]

Flea explained to me that for the past few months he has noticed an increasing number of his peers reaching full maturity and promptly wrapping up their education to begin their life's work on the hive. Flea currently attends an on-planet educational establishment close to Mars' Isidis Basin, which I gather caters to galactic lifeforms other than Flea's own kind.

He explained to me that he has had no trouble making friends at school but since the anthophiloids his age have started to mature, he feels left out when they have conversations using their new shared mental connection. I understand that Flea is in a difficult position socially as, due to the vast differences in different species' lifespans, he feels too childish for his own kind and far more mature than, for example, his human classmates.

Oh, Sec, it is - 

[SEC: questioning ping]

You know . . . Part of me just thinks that there's nothing in this Solar System worse than the rampant hell that is human teenagers. I would have loved to have gone to an interspecies college when I was a teenager but, stars, our species scattered across the galaxy and there's still little shits on Mars carving willies into each other's tablet cases and tricking the classroom AI into reading out rude words in the register. They’re just . . . I don’t understand why the rest of the galaxy puts up with us. 

Oh, and -  and Flea - he so clearly didn't want to offend me. I thought he was going to hit the ceiling with the way he kept flying up out of his chair every time he got nervous.

When Flea is not at school, he lives with his colony on Hive 46, one of Mars' satellite hives. Sec, can you look that one up for me? I wonder what their variety of polysyrup actually is . . .

[SEC: affirmative ping]

Anthophiloids are essentially the galactic predecessor to Earth's humble bee, you know?

Nic, um, someone I know is a bit of a conspiracy theory enthusiast and, um, I remember them telling me about this one which said that the bees didn't actually go extinct on Earth, they just left, went through a wormhole and came out the other side as anthophiloids. It's nonsense, obviously,  but it does kind of make me laugh that humans still call each other 'honey'. I can't imagine how people would react if you tried to call them 'polysyrup' as a term of endearment. 

[SEC: typing on screen]

[Disbelief] No way! I swear that's - 

[SOUND: Chair, footsteps, cabinet unlocked, rustling and clinking] 

Yeah! That particular polysyrup is in pretty much all of these drugs. This Hygieianine company must be shelling out creds to Hive 46.

[SOUND: cabinet shut, footsteps, chair][SEC: typing on screen]

Alright. I'm still new here, I'm allowed to be curious.

It would appear that Flea has taken to keeping to himself at home, preferring to spend his time drawing and painting as more of his friends begin full-time work.

I questioned Flea about his childhood milestones, but, understandably, he was unable to give me clear ages at which he achieved the ability to feed, talk and fly. I noted that Flea appeared quite small for his age and he seemed embarrassed to admit that he is yet to have his growth spurt. Concerned, I asked him whether his name was something that his classmates called him, perhaps in a teasing way, but he insisted that he likes the name . . . Even if he didn't exactly choose it himself.

They called me Thunderwood at school. I wish I can say that I wore it as gracefully as Flea seems to.

[SEC: questioning ping]

Why? Because . . . I - Well, because I made a thundering sound when I walked places. Apparently. In zero gravity. 

Um,  I took the opportunity to examine Flea to assess for any signs of underlying congenital defects or syndromes that may be contributing to his delayed maturation. The only findings of note on his examination were his length, which, at 68cm, I plotted as being on the 45th centile for his age.

 To be honest, he is tiny. Fully mature anthophiloids can reach . . . I don't know . . . 2 metres? More? Queen Anthophiloid are massive. I once almost got stung by one at a pod party - it was just an accident, not malicious at all - but, honestly, I had nightmares for about a week afterwards. I don't think their society necessarily operates on a bigger is better rule. For them, more productive is better. But . . . Flea goes to a school with a whole range of species and with that level of cross-cultural bleeding, it must be difficult being the smallest of your peer group.

With Nurse Calyxy acting as a chaperone, I examined Flea's productive and reproductive organs. I note that his polysyrup glands are currently dry but bear signs of starting to grow. Similarly, his endophallus has begun to develop but is not at the stage I would expect for his age.

Oh, Sec? 

[SEC: questioning ping]

Remind me next time to ask someone else to chaperone, please?

[SEC: questioning ping]

Calyxy is lovely and she makes what I think might be the best nitrobrew in clinic . . . But I think for intimate exams, it's probably better to ask a staff member with conscious control over their eye movements. I had to stand on a stool so I could reach Flea's anxiously levitating body in order to examine him.

 [SEC: affirmative ping]

The sample of haemolymph I extracted from Flea revealed no overt hormonal abnormalities which would suggest underlying hormone syndromes or tumours. I performed a pheromone battery test and was pleased to see the small changes in the composition of Flea's haemolymph which suggests that he is well on his way to mounting a full neurochemical response in the future.

I always feel kind of guilty, kind of nervous when performing pheromone testing. The process involves spraying the patient with biological compounds in order to elicit a hormonal, emotional and/or behavioural response. The equivalent for my kind would be like getting a stream of comms messages one after the other, all like: all your family are dying, a picture of your crush's naked body, your home planet is in ruins, you’ve been invited to a party on Venus, bring your own lubricant.

[SEC: negative ping]

I know! And there's always the risk that your patient will mount more of a response than you were expecting . . . I’ve heard horror stories about it going wrong in the past.

Oh! As an aside - please can you set ventilation speed to 20? This clinic room is full of aerosol protein messages right now and if we're not careful we're going to have a swarm of confused and kind of aroused anthophiloids at the door come 0600 hours. 

[SEC: affirmative ping]

[SOUND: fan] 

Thanks. 

I explained to Flea that, from the findings of my examination and from what he'd told me, I wasn't currently convinced that further investigations were required to try and detect an underlying cause for his delayed maturation. In my opinion, he is, actually, currently at the start of the maturation process and I explained that it's likely that his age is a variant of normal, rather than something to worry about.

I could tell he was fretting about something though. The buzz of his wings was a constant high-pitched thrum over the usual hum of your processer, Sec. At one point, I was sure that he was going to wring his inky little hands together so forcefully that they'd simply snap off. I felt like I wouldn't really have been doing my job properly if Flea travelled all this way to talk to someone in confidence and I didn't probe a little to find out what was really wrong.

'The interplay of different hormones in any one person is incredibly complex and often misunderstood.' I told him, watching his antennae lift curiously. 'Sometimes, if the person is experiencing a lot of stress, it can affect them physically as well as mentally. Believe me, just being your age is stressful enough, I know, but is there anything in particular that is stressing you out at the moment?' Those thick, black antennae twitched as though I had just zapped him with a blaster on the stun setting. Flea's wings began to beat nervously, glassy and glittering in the light, as his anxiety started to vibrate out of him.

[Mimicking Flea’s voice] 'SETs are coming up.' He explained and I nodded sympathetically. 'And I - I'm not very academic and I don't even know whether I should even try to revise because what if I mature before them or, even worse, straight after? Because it won't even matter how well I do once I start working in the hive! But then I don't want everyone else to hate me because they need good grades for their future and all my classmates are really nervous.’

[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]

Oh, SETs? Uh, Solar Educational Tests. They're the standardised exams for students attending multispecies schools. Luckily for me, uh,  they were brought in a few years after I went to university but I still remember my sister crying down the comms line because she didn't know how she was ever going to remember the difference between a Hiloovian handshake and the Death grip of Epimetheus. Just in case you ever need to know: it's all about the wrist contact.

[SEC: affirmative ping]

Um, so, for the letter: Throughout the consultation, I noticed Flea showcasing a number of signs of anxiety, including what appeared to be a nervous tic which involved fluttering his wings so quickly that he rose off the clinic chair. I explained to him that sometimes stress can contribute to a constitutional delay in development and asked him if there was anything in his life that might be causing him stress. Flea admitted that, at school, they were currently in preparation for a host of important exams. Even though he knew that, one day, he wouldn't even need the qualifications, the feverish anxiety of his non-anthophiloid classmates was infectious, and he was very nervous about failing.

This isn't for the letter, I promised it didn't need to go in. But, with Flea hovering a good thirty centimetres off his chair, wings nothing but arcs of light either side of his fluffy thorax, I could tell that there was perhaps something more that he wanted to share with me.

When - well, always, really - but particularly when your patient is a minor, it's important to always rule out abuse as a cause of the patient's presentation.

So when I asked Flea if there was anything else causing him stress, and he fixed those glossy, compound eyes on me and said: 'I think - I think there might be something wrong with me in a -' He said the next word so quietly that I almost missed it beneath the rapid buzz of his wings, 'In a sexual way.'.

Well, you can imagine how my stomach froze. 

[SEC: affirmative ping]

'Can you tell me more about that?'

I watched the fluffy hair surrounding his spiracles flatten as he drew in a deep breath. 'I have a crush.' He said.

'A crush?'

'On my classmate.'

I almost laughed at him with relief. 'Having a crush isn't a medical affliction.' I told him and he folded his tiny little arms.

'But, but she's not anthophiloid! She's . . . human.' His antennae performed a strange twitching dance that I think must have been mortification. 'I know what I said about humans earlier but I swear she's different!'

Whoever this girl is, I hope she returns Flea's affections because he is honestly just so sweet.

I taught Flea some calming breathing techniques that he can use to ground himself when feeling anxious but he reported feeling reassured by my confidence that he is likely to mature in the next few months, if not within weeks. I talked Flea through the process and explained that he is likely to experience mood changes first, including increased interest in the Queen and a new awareness of the feelings and decisions of other close members of the colony, then his growth spurt. He will start to secrete small amounts of polysyrup at first and shouldn't be surprised if he has a few days of intermittent production before the flow starts properly. Finally, his consciousness will join the hivemind and his maturation will be complete. I’ve prescribed him some articuloil as his growth spurt is likely to be rapid and may be painful. 

I told Flea that he is welcome to return to the clinic at any time but we have set a provisional follow-up appointment for - how long did I say again, Sec?

[SEC: typing on screen]

 . . . Four Martians months' time and Flea understands that he can cancel this if he reaches maturity before then and has no other medical concerns.

Part of me hopes he does come back. Though, I guess it is the physician's curse, to need to like your patients enough to hope to never see them again.

I wish him all the best.

[MUSIC: stops] 

[Yawn] What a day, Sec. Can you bring up tomorrow's list if you have it?

[SEC: affirmative ping, file open]

Oh, I'm on crawl-ins? I thought Dr Adra was - ? 

[SEC: questioning ping]

 You kn - You know what, it's fine. I'll manage. 

Well, I'd best go get some sleep, then. Um, Do you want me to switch you off overnight?

 [SEC: negative ping, negative ping, typing on screen]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I remembered earlier at least!

Signed,

Dr Faye Underwood

The Vesta Clinic

 [MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme]

CREDITS 

This episode of the Vesta Clinic was created by AMC. It starred AMC as Faye Underwood and Sec as himself. Music by AMC and Ruby Campbell. 

Please check out our show notes for content warnings, transcripts, and your prescription of: approval from a guardian. 

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